What if?

My mind keeps going back to the day my water broke the first time. It was late we fell asleep on the couch. I got up and started my way upstairs I started leaking. I just thought oh I peed myself. It was late and I was tired, so I changed my under garments and went back to sleep. The morning came and I thought maybe it was my water. Since I had just had the amnio done. Brandon's dad was down and we went to home show. I leaked a little nothing much I had a pad in. That night I thought well I guess I did just pee myself. I told Brandon about it, and my mom called. As I was talking to her I had a gush, I calmly told her I would call her back, and I ran to the bathroom sure enough my water was broke at 19 weeks. I was terrified I was so not ready to say goodbye. Brandon and I drove to the hospital. I went to the front desk and told them my water broke. They started looking for my name in the files. I had to tell them I wasn't in there since I was only 19 weeks. Everyone's faces dropped. At this time we were told that Halle didn't have a chance at life. She took me back to my room, did the test. Sure enough the water was broken. They are truly so sweet, I did have to recuse myself to the restroom to cry. I hate crying in front of people. They gave me the option to be induced that night or just wait for my body to start labor. Obviously I chose to wait.
Now here is the what if? What if I did chose to be induced? I wouldn't be holding this sweet girl in my arms right now. I would still be grieving the lose of her. I know it's horrible to even think about, because she's here! We went through a long hard road with her but all of it is so worth it. Just hold this sweet girl up to your chest, and you can just feel what a sweet spirit she has. I am so grateful I listened to myself and not what the doctors were telling us. They are right most of the time, but when you feel something so strongly you just got to leap forward and go with it, because it's probably the right thing to do.